Marriage counseling — you might need it, when do you know? When you know the honeymoon is over is usually when you might need marriage counseling. But when do you know when the honeymoon is over? When your partner starts saying bad things instead of good things, like, instead of: “you have a wonderful smile,” she says: “stop making that ugly face.”
We tend to overlook all the little annoying things that we all possess at the beginning of a relationship. Love can easily blind us. It is not uncommon that the time comes in almost every relationship when one thinks about getting some marriage counseling.
We see everything through rose coloured glasses during the time when we are blinded by love, and nothing can go wrong. Instead of giving compliments, we are hurling painful complaints when the honeymoon is over, and all those little annoyances start arising in our awareness.
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The irony is that the things we hate about other people, in truth, those things remind us of ourselves. But this fact is unconscious to us.
Thinking that through criticism we will be able to change our partners to be what we think is an ideal mate, the problem is that we begin to criticise them for this purpose.
This kind of thinking is very backward.
No amount of criticism will ever help your situation it will ruin it. The more you criticize the more your partner will shut you out. Soon you will need marriage counseling.
Once Gandhi said if you want to change the world, you must become that change.
This can be applied to your relationship also. First you must change yourself, if you want to change it and make it well again. What you have to do is: those things that you don’t like about yourself, which you are projecting upon your partner, and later criticising them for it, you must change in yourself.
Yes, in order to save your relationship, this is a tough one, you must criticise yourself.
Nobody will ever be able to make you truly happy. Your happiness comes from within. You must love yourself, and be in total harmony. After that your partner will pick up on this intuitively. Then they will want to share in the love you already possess. Marriage counseling can help you.
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