In some way or another, we all have been dumped or we have dumped our exs, and yes, it is not a nice feeling, but it is part of life and it is something we have to experience to mature and move on. But hey, this very same situation has placed us in the position of saving a relationship, which is what I am all about…
Personally, I think if someone decided to split up with you, it will be worse for him or her. And if it was you who decided to break up, well… if you want to get back, why, for crying’s sake, did you decide to split up?
Let’s be sincere, there are relations that just resemble vessels that become old, leaky, rusty, with broken sails and do not to move forward because their timber is in such a critical condition that are simply aimed to sink into the sea regardless of any effort. And the truth is that any intention to get back with your ex in such cases is, unfortunately, a futile exercise and a real emotional waste.
However, for those cases in which saving a relationship is of most importance, the relationships can be more “restorable” so to speak and if you really want and do think that you can get back with your ex, well, maybe it is worth the effort.
But before actually talking about this, you have got to be absolutely clear why the relationship broke up in the first instance…
If you do not, no matter if you get back with your ex, or if you get together with someone else different, you will be making the same mistake over and over again, with the same person or, worse, with a different one!
Ready?
The truth: assessing the situation and placing yourself in a position of saving a relationship, demands some time and effort and you must to understand this step. So, if you believe that you can make him/her come back and you know that you are not just falling into a desperate hunt for instant gratification, go for it. Be patient and keep this in mind:
Do you know why gold is valuable? The answer is: Because it’s scarce!
And that is just the milestone to make someone wanting to get back with us.
No, it actually it is not important to get him/her an expensive present, but to become a little more scarce than we used to be. So, if after the split, the two of you are still talking, then cut it and arm yourself with patience and wait.
For if you break the pattern that she/he has you for granted, then, all of the sudden, your Ex will right away notice this and his/her mind will start to tell “… oh, oh, what’s going on here? Why can I not have what I always used to have? Have I really lost him/her?”
And while that happens, if it really was any possibility of saving a relationship and getting back together, his/her mind will start to imagine all kind of scenarios. One of them will be to get back with you.
Refrain from any contact, and if you talk with him or her, focus on what he or she tells you and do not give away many information about you. Maintain your conversations very short and always hang up and say goodbye first over the phone.
Most exs are quite obvious and generally keep in touch just to have you under his/her radar, taking your emotional temperature and making sure to fan the flames of your expectations high enough just to keep you there. The reason? If the other endeavors do not work out with other people, you are there as his/her better than anything prize or worse, his/her emotional accomplice!
That sounds harsh, but it is true. Thus, it is necessary to take the bull by the horns and take control of the situation.
Simply disappear…
There you have it, a technique 100% psychological, no witches, potions or nonsense.
This is my best advice for those who like to stay there and “spend” time and emotional energy on someone who has moved on instead of “investing” time and emotional energy into something/someone better to come.
Not saving a relationship is part of human nature and it is a choice. It is also something that, once a fair amount of time passes by, you will look back and say, “definitely, that was the best thing that could have happened.”
Good luck if you decide to get back.
But best wishes if you opt to move on.
If you would like to read more on precious little advice, go to http://saving-arelationship.com NOW!
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