“When I was a student, training to become a marriage counselor, I asked a lovely old lady in her late sixties, ‘When does sexual desire stop?’ Her immediate response was, ‘I’ll let you know,’” Eleanor Hamilton writes in Still Doing It: Women & Men over 60 Write About Their Sexuality.

“Her answer confirmed what I have known now for 40 years – namely, that we are sexual beings from birth until death.” When it comes to having a healthy marriage, sex relationships are extremely important.

sexual relationships
Sex, romance relationships are all closely interwoven, as intimacy begets bonding and bonding begets a loving, positive relationship. If this sounds like a challenge, never fear, as there are a number of tips from leading sex therapists and marriage counselors to get you and your loved one back on track.

One important way to rekindle sex relationships is to initiate daily contact. “Many couples have two modes of affection: nothing or intercourse, and when that’s the case, ‘nothing’ usually wins out,” explains marriage advice expert Barry McCarthy Ph.D.

The problem is that, if a kiss or back massage always leads to sex, spouses may avoid contact if they’re “not in the mood.” They may feel anxious or encounter performance anxiety when they’re touched, which inhibits sexual pleasure.

Instead, holding hands, hugging for no reason and initiating other types of contact will lead to a stronger connection, both in and out of the bedroom. McCarthy adds, “Your sex will become much more natural, because one kind of touch flows into another.”

romance relationships
“The latest research has found that one of the keys to sexual satisfaction is a sense of sexual adventurousness,” says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago.

She explains that the simple act of wearing a new nightie, planning a night at a bed-and-breakfast, sleeping on new sheets or pulling out all the romantic stops on a special dinner date will send a crucial message that says “I care.” Often these new experiences can recreate the feeling of new relationships in the couple, which inevitably pumps passion into sex relationships too.

marriage counseling
There are also physical changes that may impede sex relationships as couples grow old together. “One thing you can count on is that when you are over 40 you won’t be getting spontaneous erections in the same rapid and easy way you did when you were in your adolescence years or early 20s,” cautions Dr. Saul Rosenthal, the author of Sex Over 40.

“Just thinking about sex or seeing a sexual partner won’t be enough. You will require more and more direct physical stimulation.” Having an understanding partner is the key to romantic relationships, he says. No matter what strategies are tried, communication is the key to a long and satisfying marriage.

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Positive personal relationships can provide great strength during hard times. They can add to our self-esteem, boost our confidence and illuminate our admirable traits. Forgiveness may require a new way of looking at the situation but certainly it is one of the pillars of healthy relationships.

They can be a daily comfort to our psyche and make life so much more fulfilling. Conversely, negative social relationships can tear at our sanity and cause extreme stress, depression, loneliness, anxiety and frustration.

love and relationships
The keys to successful personal relationships are often the same, regardless of what type of relationship you’re looking to strengthen, be it friend, coworker, family member or romance relationships. For instance, being assertive and drawing clear boundaries is a good practice in any relationship.

First you must explore your own feelings and decide what your limits are. Next, you will need to assert yourself using “I” statements, as well as cause-and-effect consequences. For instance, you might say, “I dislike being tickled because it makes me feel powerless and uncomfortable.

If you tickle me again, I will have to leave.” If the person violates your boundaries, then you must stick to your guns and do as promised to reinforce those boundaries. Over time, you may note that the other person cannot adhere to your boundaries and you may come to the conclusion that he or she does not actually respect you.

While it may be a tough conclusion to reach, you couldn’t have come to the truth without first setting boundaries.

social relationships
Another way to bolster any of your love and relationships is to learn to manage your anger better. Anger can be an extremely detrimental to building relationships, parent/child relationships, workplace relationships or friendships. Feeling anger is not the problem; rather, the problem arises from our mismanagement of anger.

The first step to managing your anger is to understand the triggers, both the superficial triggers and the underlying triggers. For example, you might blow your top over your spouse forgetting an anniversary. Yet, beneath that, you may see a pattern of behavior because your spouse also forgot to get you anything for Valentine’s Day, forgot to tell you all his friends were coming over last weekend, forgot to tell you your mother called and forgot to call to say he’d be home late from the bar.

Perhaps you’re really feeling like he doesn’t consider your feelings or inform you on important matters. It’s crucial that you learn to stop bottling your emotions and instead relieve them in healthy ways.

In any of your personal relationships, “Disagreements are going to occur,” says Dr. Phil. “The question is, do you go into it with a spirit of looking for resolution or do you go into it with a spirit of getting even, for vengeance or to gain control? You’ll never win if you do that.

romantic relationships
If you make your personal relationships a competition, then that means your spouse has to lose in order for you to win. It’s not a competition, it’s a partnership.” Whether you’re looking into marriage counseling or seeking healthy relationships with friends, family or coworkers, it’s important that you stop feeling like a victim and take responsibility for your feelings and your behaviors.

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Healthy love relationships and marriages are based around communication, intimacy, friendship and time spent together. When romance relationships graduate to marital relationships and child rearing relationships, it’s easy to get blown off-course.

Many parents focus all their love and attention on the children and lose sight of their own needs and desires as a couple. Instead, parents must put their love marriage priorities first so the children can learn love from their parents’ example.

love and relationships
The first step for creating happy love relationships is fixing any communication problems. Dr. David Burns suggests overcoming the silent treatment through a technique called “multiple choice empathy,” where you take on full responsibility for the other person’s feelings.

You might say a statement like, “I see you don’t want to talk to me. Is there something you’re upset about? Perhaps I didn’t listen to you as well as I should have or I tried to tell you what to do. I feel really bad that I’ve done this to you.” In most cases, the other person will open up.

If your partner is overly critical of you, the best move, Burns says, is to accept responsibility and make the statement more positive. For instance, if your partner accuses you of being a control freak, you might respond by saying, “I’ll admit I have a tendency to be controlling at times.” Then reaffirm how much the person and relationship means to you, mentioning your desire to make things right.

healthy relationships
The next step for creating happy intimate relationships is to share experiences together, no matter how big or small. Some couples get into a TV series together to spend that time cuddling on the couch, eating ice cream, laughing and discussing episodes together. With many top TV series available on DVD now, you can even indulge without all the time-wasting commercials!

In fact, it’s a great way to unwind from a long day and relax. Other couples may prefer to do something a little more active by taking a post-dinner bike ride, a Saturday morning hike and picnic or a daily treadmill workout at the gym. Creating time for each other doesn’t always come naturally. To borrow from an food analogy, think of relationships like chocolate cake: after five days of eating chocolate cake, it might not taste as good, yet after five days of talking about it, that chocolate cake sure sounds good!

interpersonal relationships
Another method to bolster love relationships is to get spiritual together. A University of Chicago survey of married couples found that 75% of Americans who pray with their spouses report their marriages are “very happy.”

Religion promotes many values that apply to building relationships, like respect, humility, faith and selflessness. You can have the satisfaction you desire if you are determined to get it.

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