Many of us start out wonderfully in fantastic new romantic relationships. We soak in every moment of our partner and relish in every word. We feel connected and stimulated both in and out of the bedroom. While the initial merger may seem natural, maintaining the relationship may not come so naturally.

There are a number of techniques necessary to build relationships that transcend time, but both partners must have the emotional intelligence to effectively communicate with each other and overcome the obstacles that life hurls their way.

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To building relationships that are strong, we must build our foundation upon seven pillars. The first pillar is honesty. You must be honest with yourself and with your partner to create close interpersonal relationships. With honesty comes trust, and you must be able to trust your partner in every way and put keeping their trust as a top priority. The third pillar is respect.

You must respect each other’s strengths, shortcomings, dreams, goals, personality and opinions. The fourth pillar is communication, which requires time, attentiveness and good listening skills. Attention is the fifth pillar, which means showing that you’re thinking about your partner, enjoying time together and sending positive energy their way on a regular basis.

The sixth pillar is intimacy. This entails more than just love and relationships but also letting your guard down, trusting, sharing and respecting the other person. The last pillar is commitment, which is essential to a good, strong relationship.

There are five key skills needed to build relationships that are strong, positive and enduring. Knowing how to manage stress is the first skill of emotional intelligence. Stress has the potential to disrupt communication, drain you of energy and damage the relationships.

You’ll need to recognize when you’re getting stressed and practice relaxation techniques to maintain control of your emotions. The second emotional intelligence skill is having the ability to control your emotions. It’s perfectly natural to feel anger, sadness and other emotions, but it’s how we communicate those emotions that matters.

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You must be in-tune with yourself to recognize how your past has shaped your present. Nonverbal communication is emotional intelligence skill #3. Eye contact, good posture, touching one’s arm, keeping a calm tone of voice and smiling are all techniques to use when communicating with your partner. The ability to use humor and play is the fourth key to happy social relationships and the ability to resolve conflicts is the fifth skill.

Almost all relationships advice centers on making time for one another. Once you build relationships, quality time spent together is the glue that holds intimate relationships together. “Couples need to spend a lot of time with each other,” says Dr. David Kaplan, chair of the counseling department at Emporia State University in Kansas. “There is no substitute for quantity of time.”

He advises spending at least 15 minutes each day with a personal one-on-one conversation. Additionally, he says couples should take half a day each week to go out on a date. Getting physical is also essential, whether you’re 20, 40 or 60.

interpersonal relationships
Relationships sex may not need to happen every day, but partners should be on the same page for how often it should happen. You may feel guilty taking off work on Saturdays to plan a date with your spouse, but quality time is the best way to make old, stale relationships feel like new relationships again.

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Building relationships over long distances takes a lot of time, excellent communication and shared goals. Long distance intimate relationships should begin with an end goal in mind, whether it’s six months, a year or three years.

It can be extremely frustrating to wonder, “Where is this going?” Naturally, people have physical and psychological needs that are best met through intimate daily contact. As British poet Thomas Haynes Bayly once wrote: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

building relationships
High-quality communication is the most important method for build relationships that transcend distance. You’ll need to make sure you both have good long-distance phone plans and internet access. Webcams and video chats via Skype are good ways to close the distance gap with technology.

It’s important to discuss how much communication time is necessary to make each partner feel connected within romantic relationships. For one person, it might be contact every few days, but for another person it may mean a daily phone call or email. Some people need just ten minutes on the phone, while others need hours.

Try to make a regular schedule to ensure time is made for one another. If time is scant and schedules don’t jive, then it’s critical that the time spent communicating is quality time. Many long distance lovers spend a good portion of their time saying their “I love you’s” and reiterating what they love about their mates.

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Sometimes building relationships means cultivating your own interests and working toward your independent goals to make the relationship much stronger in the long run. For instance, some men may work on improving their financial stability by working lots of over-time and saving money.

Some women may wish to become more independent and less emotionally needy, so they’ll join clubs, pursue hobbies and make more time for girl friends. While this may not sound satisfying, you’d be surprised at how a little innovative contact can bring two people together!

Goals are extremely important in building relationships. From the get-go you should be asking the important questions. Will one of you be open to relocating if the need arises? Will you eventually live together?

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Are you looking to get married and start a family? In almost all dating relationships, people need to feel that their efforts are not in vain, that there is some meaningful reason to hold on. If you’re good at communicating your needs, making time for your love, working toward a goal and exercising patience, then you just may find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

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