Posts Tagged “System 1”


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Are you wondering “how to save my marriage?” There comes a time when either one or both parties in a relationship realize there’s no future in going down the track they are on. The obvious option is separation followed by divorce and just moving on with their lives without each other.

But if you’re reading this then that’s not an option for you and you are looking for a magical solution to save your marriage. The truth is, there is no magical solution but there are a number of things you can do with co-operation from your spouse that can turn things around and get you back on the marriage happiness treadmill.

Before we go into what you can do to save your marriage you first need to identify what the problems are. Are you causing the issues or is it your partner or more realistically, is it the both of you. Before you can move on, this step must be completed as it is vital to making the phase two steps work.

Save My Marriage System

1. Opening up the conversation between the two of you is an important step after you identify the chains restricting positive growth in your marriage. While many consider they don’t need it, one of the best ways to do this is to sit down with a counselor. Give this serious thought.

2. Become habitual with your efforts get your marriage back on track. This means doing something together on a daily basis such as going for a walk or simply sitting down together and talking about each others day. This is quality time together.

3. Do something romantic together at least once a week. Things like going out on a date or having a movie night involving just the two of you is a great way to start.

4. While communication is key listening to your spouse is equally as important. Many people are selfish in this area and while they acknowledge what their partner has to say they don’t usually take them seriously. That all changes as of today. Have you considered that you could actually be the cause of many of the problems which are plaguing your marriage right now.

5. Go back and identify what it was about your partner you fell in love with. You need to hold a strong faith here and believe he/she is still the same person you fell head over heels for.

6. Forgiving each other unconditionally is vital. Even if your spouse has made major mistakes if you have made the decision and said to yourself I will do what it takes to save my marriage then you have to be open to forgiving them.

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Do you want to save your marriage? If you are currently experiencing emotional turmoil within your marriage then thoughts of divorce will have weighed heavily on your mind. Is divorce the only option?

We don’t know the state of your marriage or whether too much damage has been done by either you or your partner but in many cases, when the commitment is made to make every effort to save the marriage, then the chances it will survive and work again are good.

And making that commitment to yourself, your marriage and your partner first is where it all starts. Is your partner showing the same level of enthusiasm? Be warned that they need to meet you on some common ground here otherwise any effort to save this marriage will all be in vain. The both of you need to commit firstly, put petty differences behind you and begin to disect some of the things which may be contributing to issues.

So let’s take a look at the five things you’ll need to consider if you want to save your marriage. These tips are expanded upon in the Magic Of Making Up system:

1. Project yourself five years into the future and ask yourself whether this is the person you want to be with. If the answer is no or even confusing then you must resolve any issues here and now before you move on.

2. If you are the most committed to this task then it’s up to you to do the most changing. That’s if you really want this marriage to survive and flourish again.

3. Look at your personal habits. Analyze them and ask yourself questions such as if I was the other person would some of my habits be irritating? You’ll be surprised at the responses here, even shocked but this is something that needs to be done and crucial to the overall outcome.

4. Communication is vital. Yes it’s something you know you need to be doing but it always bears repeating. You will need to get to know him/her again and that will mean taking an interest in what they like and do even if it’s not really your “cup of tea.”

5. Sitting down with a therapist or counselor for several sessions is also a must if you want to save your marriage. Now while either of you may not think it is necessary the truth is, a third opinion will spot things about your relationship you won’t see. They will have the ability to open up to each other with a particular line of questioning.

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